oh god is it over yet? part one

Part one of my attempts to avoid studying this week.

Commencement is this weekend and I still have tests the week after that. There is something terribly, terribly wrong with this picture. (The med school gets out two weeks later than undergrad, and we don't finish until next week. As if we're not haggard enough by now.)

On a somewhat sunnier side, Andrei and I and about a quarter of the senior class went to Martha's Vineyard this weekend as part of Senior Week. It was rainy and damp in the morning, but we made the best of it and spent most of the day gorging ourselves on ridiculously fresh seafood. At one point it started raining and we ducked into a harborside seafood joint to eat fried oysters and drink beer; I have never felt closer to my studying of obesity and appetite regulation than the food-fest that was this weekend.

Anyway, pictures will be forthcoming probably never.

Also, Andrei's lovely grandmother Lelia flew in from Bucharest today and will be staying with us until after graduation. His parents and mine are getting into town Thursday and Friday. Soon the rest of the campus will be crawling with proud mamas and papas and little siblings! Is it pessimistic that I am already dreading being pulled in all different directions by my family? The answer is yes.

Back to work.

long weekend

Most of this weekend I've spent in bed, but not even remotely in a good way. Looks like my good luck could only hold out so long, because I finally got sick. Of course, getting sick is always the making of a perfect storm. I suspect the agents to blame are: absurd 180 change in weather (went from 80s to 40s), spring allergies, examination time and exam-related stress.

We had a histology exam on Friday morning at the ungodly hour of 8AM, and I tried my best not to hack my lungs out in front of the computer during the exam. Fortunately, I was sitting in the front of the computer lab so I probably missed my classmates' many death glares.

Which leads me to my next epiphany about medicine and medical students. Medical students hate getting sick. We dread it. We pray it won't happen to us. We avoid it, well... like the plague.

Imagine the following scenario, which I've seen go down countless times since October:

Student #1: Hey! How are you doing?

Student #2: Oh you know, I'm doing okay. Well actually not so good. I think I'm getting sick. *sniffle or cough*

Student #1: (Taking a GIANT, indecent step backwards.) Oh really? That's... really awful. (Still moving away.) Well... hope you feel better soon! (Disappears around the corner.)

(The funniest thing is when this exchange happens in an elevator!)

Okay, so I have been both Student #1 and Student #2 in these scenarios, and each time I feel perversely guilty for being either character. As the sick person I feel bad showing up for class and potentially getting others sick. As the healthy person, I feel bad for running away from a sick classmate. Okay, so maybe my friend doesn't need me to nurse them back to health, but surely I can do the decent thing and stick around to talk with them and offer some help?

The worst case of this pathetic scenario I've experienced happened a few months ago. I have a med student friend who comes over every single week for a weekly lab meeting. This one particular week, I was in rapid recovery from a bad sore throat. It was an acute sore throat, with no other associated symptoms.

This particular afternoon as my friend entered the living room, Andrei also came out of our room and asked me if my throat was feeling any better and if he could get me some tea. My friend was in the middle of putting down her backpack when she heard this, and she literally froze. Then she wheeled around and snapped, "Xu! Why didn't you tell me you were sick!"

I think my mouth must have fallen open. It's just a sore throat, and I feel better, I stammered meekly. "Well still," she said, "you should have told me!"

I was a bit in disbelief. Should I now phone everyone I plan to see the next time my throat hurts? So that they can... take some prophylactic Vitamin C before seeing me? Or avoid me entirely? I was not only confused, but totally offended by this reaction. Suddenly I felt like I was the inconsiderate one.

So here is my bottom line:
We are training to be DOCTORS one day. As in, people who are routinely exposed to microbes of every kind! Bacteria, viruses, fungi, parasites, MRSA, VRSA, VRE -- we will see all of these AND MORE at the hospitals we will be working.

But most importantly, we will be doctors who (get this!) will be interacting with sick people every single day! Wow, brilliant. So while I understand trying to avoid sick people and attempting to save yourself from a potentially time- and energy-draining recovery from being sick... realize that sick people are people too.

And besides, you'll look like a total asshole to the sick friend or patient you're running away from.

april is the cruellest month...

I'm sure almost every April in my eight years of blogging I've made a post entitled "April is the cruellest month," because, well, April sucks hard. (Sorry T.S. Eliot, I have not your way with words.)

Yes, April is the perfect, opportune, most SADISTIC time for professors to lay one last awful hell week on you before the hell week of all hell weeks: May finals. It's like clockwork.

I was looking at a text doc of things I had wanted to blog about nearly 2 months ago, and unfortunately half of them don't make sense to me anymore:

1. med school formal
   
2. valentine's day
3. hell week for studying (...which one???)
4. got the job i wanted** (I put two stars next to this one because it probably merits more than a few skimpy sentences.)
5. a word on healer's art
6. spring break -- home and california**
   
7. flight delay
8. the white tiger
9. sam adams brewery
10. starting at project trust 4 hrs/week**

Let's just say for numbers 1 and 2 that they happened, they were lovely, and they involved brilliant views of the Boston skyline (no. 1) and heart-shaped pancakes (no. 2).

Nos. 3, 5, 6, 7, and 9 are too long to hash out entirely, but they did involve Disneyland, an unplanned overnight stay in DC that I spent sleeping at the airport (thank you, United!), some beer with AMSA pals, and "fuzzy hearts" from old Jewish folks, though not entirely in that order of events.

But in all seriousness, Spring Break was an incredible mash-up of seeing my family, bringing Andrei to KC again, celebrating my 21st birthday (no I don't feel any wiser nor do I drink any more alcohol than I did before I was 21, sadly?), and lying poolside in sunny California in-between medical talks. (Sign me up for the next conference!) And no, I have not yet posted pictures. Just thinking about it gives me a headache.

Sidenote: At the national AMSA conference I did get a chance to meet and chat with Dr. Tao Le and Dr. Goljan, of First Aid and Rapid Review Pathology fame, respectively. Like, seriously, students were GEEKING OUT and asking for autographs and photos with these two docs. It was surreal, and slightly--no, tremendously--pathetic. In just one year, will I also be worshipping USMLE Step 1 review book editors? (!!!!) I shudder to think of it.

Other thoughts: The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga. Just read it and you'll be glad you did. You'll like this if you liked Slumdog Millionaire or any type of tongue-in-cheek social commentary. One spoiler: the first person narrator tells his story entirely in letters addressed to the Chinese Premier, Wen Jiabao. Good, no? It is hilarious and heart-breaking at the same time, and well worth anyone's time. (Also the winner of the 2008 Man Booker Prize, if you like that kind of thing.)

More details on the starred ** items for next time, hopefully soon.

(I have been THIS close to opening a Twitter account because usually my thoughts need to be put down immediately or they get sucked into the black hole of forgetfulness... but I'm still super Twitter-wary and for good reason, so I'm still not convinced.)

hectic weekend

This weekend was the production of the Vagina Monologues on the med campus (undergrad production forthcoming). It was a fun show, and it came together seamlessly. Amazingly, Friday night's show was the first complete run-through with full microphones and stage pieces.... needless to say, grad students are INCREDIBLE at winging it. Somehow it all came together at the last minute and everyone was completely on cue and perfect in their delivery. A++ impressed.

We raked in a bunch of money for our beneficiaries, the BMC Domestic Violence Project and Casa Myrna Vazquez, and had a lot of fun to boot. Lots of people exiting the show were so amazed to see normally dry, rather boring medical and SPH students transformed into hot, sexy, saucy actresses :) Hey, we're not just academics.

More good news this week: I've been placed at the STD clinic for ProjectTrust volunteering, along with two other volunteers in my class. The STD clinic was my first choice because of the high traffic through the clinic and the availability of comprehensive testing. I can't wait to get started doing testing and counseling. For some reason this cause has really galvanized me, probably because I feel risk reduction/screening/preventative medicine is so important and yet so glaringly absent in most of my medical experience so far.

Final piece news: I'm officially going home for spring break for a few days before flying to Anaheim for the AMSA 60th Annual National Conference. Yes, Anaheim, as in DISNEYLAND! Not sure what I'm more excited for: finally visiting Disneyland, or being around a massive group of medical students from all over the country (and Canada) for four days. I know there will be students who are more active and involved than I am, and I'm looking forward to getting fired up by their enthusiasm for activism. (That makes me sound like such a do-gooder, but mostly I am pumped to hang around cool people who will no doubt knock me over the head with awe for their achievements.) Plus, California is a BIG, BIG bonus during dreary March weather.

Speaking of dreary winter weather, we're expecting 8+ inches of snow tomorrow afternoon, which is just icing on top of a long Wednesday I'm sure... Expect me to come home immediately after class and refuse to leave the house for 48 hours.

what i do when i'm not studying

After a few failed starts to Ye Olde Medical School Blog, hopefully I've managed to settle down on this one. It turns out that I'm no good at starting a story from the beginning at all. I tried to write about my white coat ceremony, I really did. I tried to start from Day One and recount the sweaty-palmed anxiety of marching at the ceremony, feeling like I was about to ooze out of existence because of the unbearable heat of midday August in Boston. But to be honest, it really wasn't very interesting stuff to remember.

And even more amazingly, all of my previous attempts to entertain myself with the story of that one time in lab when my anatomy partner threw a human heart at me with a mean spiral because "it sorta looked like a nerf ball" -- well even that was a bust. So I'm going to start this story 23 weeks and 6 days into the semester, and try my best to forget that image of a projectile human heart.

***

Thursday morning was our dreaded Neuroscience final, and we all emerged bleary-eyed from the auditorium four hours later with grand hopes of two things we had forgone all week: eating and sleeping. I went out for lunch with two classmates to a place that I've already forgotten the name of (in my food- and sleep-deprived stupor, remember?) For the majority of lunch we talked about what we'd do with our "Free Time" now that Neuro was over and now that we had a three-day weekend ahead of us. Talking about our plans for the weekend buoyed us up even more than our good meal, and we walked out of the restaurant high on our freedom from ever having to remember the ventral amygdalofugal pathway again.

The rest of the day Thursday I spent in long overdue meetings for clubs that hadn't corralled its members since before winter break, and I finally got home around 5pm and threw myself in bed. But within 15 minutes of getting into bed I pulled myself out from under the covers and mewled piteously to Andrei in the next room: "I have all this free time to do whatever I want--whatever the hell I want--and I'm choosing to stay in bed?"

So we went out to the Coolidge Corner Theatre to see Up in the Air, which was a movie that I had meant to see after our FIRST neuro exam in December, but never got around to doing. On second thought, I think the reason I didn't see it after the last neuro exam was because I DID succumb to staying in bed for the rest of that night. Carpe diem doesn't always apply to med students, obviously. Yup, sometimes seize the sleep is my only motto.

The movie was good. The cast was magnificent, especially the female actors Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick (whose role in the movie was apparently conceived just for her, and you could tell). Andrei liked it, but I thought it was totally hyped up (much like I thought Garden State was hyped up in high school). It was a funny movie and maybe "representative of our times," but I couldn't help but think that it was trying too hard in some places. It was a little unapologetically emo, and George Clooney acting emo, doe-eyed, and lost was not really that interesting to watch.

Friday I spent all morning doing chores (i.e. watering our plants and tackling all the laundry I had not-so-judiciously avoided in the two weeks before the exam) and waterproofing the tan riding boots my mom bought for me over winter break. Before I knew it (or, alternatively, three CSI re-runs later) Andrei was home and we left for the Prudential Center to do some window shopping. Ironically, the only window display that caught my eye was a display of boardgames in the window of Barnes and Noble, and I made a fabulous purchase. It's something I've always wanted! More so than a Gucci bag (Andrei likes to pronounce it "Guck-y") or a Free People dress (Andrei always jokes about the name "Free People").

As expected, we ended the night at Trident, my favorite bookshop in Boston. I love their cafe, especially their teas and carrot cake! It's a ridiculously cozy place and it wasn't too crowded (guess not too many college students spend their Friday nights in bookstores). We caught the tail-end of Trivia Night at Trident and had some fun playing Scrabble. A perfect night in my book.

Saturday I felt equally as ambitious to get out of the house, and so we spent most of the day in the Coolidge Corner area. We had lunch at Dok Bua, my favorite Thai place in a one-mile radius. On the way home I did some shopping at the Gap. I made off with some yellow and teal opaque tights, a striped turtleneck sweater, and a charming grandpa sweater. It was a good haul, worthy of a critical Asian mother's eye :o)

Saturday night Andrei made chicken curry from scratch (there's no argument that he's the better cook between us), and the rest of the afternoon was awesome because Titanic was on, followed by the SAG Awards. Later Lijo and Anna G. came over to hang out and watch movies and do the whole catching up thing.

Today we're doing more catch-up: pho with med school friends in Harvard Square, and a visit from Anna S. later tonight. I really miss that girl! In the meantime I've got to put the finishing touches on this new blog, clean my desk out, finish the book of short stories I started Friday, and pre-read for class tomorrow.

Okay, maybe pre-read.