oh god is it over yet? part one

Part one of my attempts to avoid studying this week.

Commencement is this weekend and I still have tests the week after that. There is something terribly, terribly wrong with this picture. (The med school gets out two weeks later than undergrad, and we don't finish until next week. As if we're not haggard enough by now.)

On a somewhat sunnier side, Andrei and I and about a quarter of the senior class went to Martha's Vineyard this weekend as part of Senior Week. It was rainy and damp in the morning, but we made the best of it and spent most of the day gorging ourselves on ridiculously fresh seafood. At one point it started raining and we ducked into a harborside seafood joint to eat fried oysters and drink beer; I have never felt closer to my studying of obesity and appetite regulation than the food-fest that was this weekend.

Anyway, pictures will be forthcoming probably never.

Also, Andrei's lovely grandmother Lelia flew in from Bucharest today and will be staying with us until after graduation. His parents and mine are getting into town Thursday and Friday. Soon the rest of the campus will be crawling with proud mamas and papas and little siblings! Is it pessimistic that I am already dreading being pulled in all different directions by my family? The answer is yes.

Back to work.

nearing the end

And now it's May! And graduation is 9 days away. How did that happen?

Last weekend Tiffany, Rachel, Ashleigh and I drove out to Wrentham Premium Outlets out in Wrentham, and we spent about 8 hours shopping with a break for lunch. It was exhausting work, but someone had to do it! :o)

We went shopping to find a dress for Andrei's mom's wedding in June, but for all my hours of wandering I came away with nothing. This is my first ever wedding, and my first wedding that I'll go to with Andrei. …That it's for a 48 y/o woman who has the potential to become my future mother-in-law does NOT escape me. >_<

I did make out with some good buys; my favorite were these soft and buttery black suede moccasins. I wore them in the apartment the first week as house slippers before I decided that I did NOT spend $35 for a pair of house slippers… so I wore them outside and they feel heavenly, besides being pretty presentable for ICM (our clinical setting class).

Wednesday night it was girl's night for Cinco de Mayo. I should also say that it was Marine Week this week, so the other reason we purportedly went to the outlets was to buy dresses to "look good for the Marines" (somewhat of a joke... to me at least, and very Sex and the City).

We went for drinks in Fenway, and we did get hit on by two marines stationed in North Carolina, so goal accomplished! To be honest, it was not a thrilling experience. What with me asking dumbly, "SO DO YOU FIGHT… IN THE AIR, ON LAND, OR IN WATER???" No, I do not know a thing about what the Marines do. Apparently, they didn't understand "medical students" either: "WOW YOU'RE ALL DOCTORS?" Still, at least their uniforms looked good.

Then I staggered home so I could go to class the next morning at 8AM, and now I remember why I don't go drinking on weekdays. Life lesson relearned.

Let's see… other important life news.

Andrei is officially done with undergrad. He defended his thesis in front of 3 faculty a few weeks ago and it went spectacularly. They simply loved it. It's all wrapped up and been sent to the university for archival. I feel just so proud of his accomplishments, and for pulling off this thesis like it was no big thang. When he left the apartment for the defense, he was wearing dress pants, a dress shirt and tie and Converse sneakers (yes, I know), and the last words out of his mouth were "It's in the bag!" His knowledge on the topic, and his subsequent confidence was amazing.

My grandparents arrived in the US a few weeks ago and are settling in fine. They're coming up with my parents and brother ONE WEEK from now for my graduation (ohgod I need to get my shit together). Of course, my finals for med school are the week AFTER commencement, so it'll be a beautiful and stressful weekend to be spending with my family!

Finally, I know everyone says it, but I can't believe it's near the end. Being in medical school for the last year has made it not so strange to be done with undergrad (or maybe stranger?), but I think graduation will be a big milestone. Not to mention FINALLY being able to say I have my B.A. so that people don't give me funny looks at the med campus (or call me Doogie).

long weekend

Most of this weekend I've spent in bed, but not even remotely in a good way. Looks like my good luck could only hold out so long, because I finally got sick. Of course, getting sick is always the making of a perfect storm. I suspect the agents to blame are: absurd 180 change in weather (went from 80s to 40s), spring allergies, examination time and exam-related stress.

We had a histology exam on Friday morning at the ungodly hour of 8AM, and I tried my best not to hack my lungs out in front of the computer during the exam. Fortunately, I was sitting in the front of the computer lab so I probably missed my classmates' many death glares.

Which leads me to my next epiphany about medicine and medical students. Medical students hate getting sick. We dread it. We pray it won't happen to us. We avoid it, well... like the plague.

Imagine the following scenario, which I've seen go down countless times since October:

Student #1: Hey! How are you doing?

Student #2: Oh you know, I'm doing okay. Well actually not so good. I think I'm getting sick. *sniffle or cough*

Student #1: (Taking a GIANT, indecent step backwards.) Oh really? That's... really awful. (Still moving away.) Well... hope you feel better soon! (Disappears around the corner.)

(The funniest thing is when this exchange happens in an elevator!)

Okay, so I have been both Student #1 and Student #2 in these scenarios, and each time I feel perversely guilty for being either character. As the sick person I feel bad showing up for class and potentially getting others sick. As the healthy person, I feel bad for running away from a sick classmate. Okay, so maybe my friend doesn't need me to nurse them back to health, but surely I can do the decent thing and stick around to talk with them and offer some help?

The worst case of this pathetic scenario I've experienced happened a few months ago. I have a med student friend who comes over every single week for a weekly lab meeting. This one particular week, I was in rapid recovery from a bad sore throat. It was an acute sore throat, with no other associated symptoms.

This particular afternoon as my friend entered the living room, Andrei also came out of our room and asked me if my throat was feeling any better and if he could get me some tea. My friend was in the middle of putting down her backpack when she heard this, and she literally froze. Then she wheeled around and snapped, "Xu! Why didn't you tell me you were sick!"

I think my mouth must have fallen open. It's just a sore throat, and I feel better, I stammered meekly. "Well still," she said, "you should have told me!"

I was a bit in disbelief. Should I now phone everyone I plan to see the next time my throat hurts? So that they can... take some prophylactic Vitamin C before seeing me? Or avoid me entirely? I was not only confused, but totally offended by this reaction. Suddenly I felt like I was the inconsiderate one.

So here is my bottom line:
We are training to be DOCTORS one day. As in, people who are routinely exposed to microbes of every kind! Bacteria, viruses, fungi, parasites, MRSA, VRSA, VRE -- we will see all of these AND MORE at the hospitals we will be working.

But most importantly, we will be doctors who (get this!) will be interacting with sick people every single day! Wow, brilliant. So while I understand trying to avoid sick people and attempting to save yourself from a potentially time- and energy-draining recovery from being sick... realize that sick people are people too.

And besides, you'll look like a total asshole to the sick friend or patient you're running away from.

can i be just like you when i grow up?

Remember in my last post when I mentioned medical students geeking out and going fan-crazy for Dr. Tao Le and Dr. Goljan? Well I had my own little fanfest yesterday when some medical students and I went to see Dr. Atul Gawande speak.

His name is probably well known among health science circles, but probably not super recognizable to the lay public. He's a general and endocrine surgeon at Mass General (impressive enough), an author of three books (one of which was a finalist for the National Book Award in 2002), a senior health policy advisor for the WHO, and also --ALSO!-- a staff writer for The New Yorker. Pretty darn impressive!

The two-hour talk was hosted in SMG (the School of Management building), and good lord I forgot how swanky SMG is! When I try to imagine the same bar service and waiters carrying trays of hors d'oeurves in the medical school lobby, my mind just draws a big, impossible blank.

The venue made a lot of sense, since the topic was using management tools (read: checklists) to transform healthcare and its practice. Half of the audience consisted of idealistic, doe-eyed medical students with huge crushes on Dr. Gawande, and the other half consisted of older, fatter, and better-dressed businessmen/SMG alumni. You could tell some of them were big donors to the School of Management Health Sector Management Program by all the schmoozing, handshaking, and Oh-Hey-There's! It was a very odd environment, needless to say.

The topic was incredibly interesting, and unbelievably I walked away feeling pretty interested in healthcare management. Me, get an MBA? Does this seem completely out of character?

This reminds me of a conversation that I had with a friend last month:

My friend (who is MD/PhD): Hey are you planning to get any other degrees besides your MD?


Me: Uh... well maybe an MPH at some point... (Thinking to myself: As if this MD isn't enough schooling to try my sanity...)


My amused friend: Hahaha, you would get an MPH, Xu!

Ugh, I don't even want to go there with MPH stereotypes. I own not one pair of Birkenstocks, do you hear me? Nor have I ever volunteered abroad to irrigate farmland or deworm children. (Also, Dr. Gawande is an MPH and NOT an MBA, so what does that tell you? Well, he probably has done some of those things.)

Long story short, I sidled up to Dr. Awesome after the talk and asked very nicely for an autograph in my copy of his book. Before the words were even out of my mouth, he kindly interrupted, "Do you want me to sign something?"

Just imagine going to work and doing a couple of life-saving surgeries and then doing a talk where every person in the audience is hanging onto your every last word... and then coming out to sign a couple autographs for your WORLD-FAMOUS books.

Unfortunately what stands between me and that kind of success is...

1. medical school
   
   and
   
   
2. becoming an actual badass and not just little ole me :)
   

april is the cruellest month...

I'm sure almost every April in my eight years of blogging I've made a post entitled "April is the cruellest month," because, well, April sucks hard. (Sorry T.S. Eliot, I have not your way with words.)

Yes, April is the perfect, opportune, most SADISTIC time for professors to lay one last awful hell week on you before the hell week of all hell weeks: May finals. It's like clockwork.

I was looking at a text doc of things I had wanted to blog about nearly 2 months ago, and unfortunately half of them don't make sense to me anymore:

1. med school formal
   
2. valentine's day
3. hell week for studying (...which one???)
4. got the job i wanted** (I put two stars next to this one because it probably merits more than a few skimpy sentences.)
5. a word on healer's art
6. spring break -- home and california**
   
7. flight delay
8. the white tiger
9. sam adams brewery
10. starting at project trust 4 hrs/week**

Let's just say for numbers 1 and 2 that they happened, they were lovely, and they involved brilliant views of the Boston skyline (no. 1) and heart-shaped pancakes (no. 2).

Nos. 3, 5, 6, 7, and 9 are too long to hash out entirely, but they did involve Disneyland, an unplanned overnight stay in DC that I spent sleeping at the airport (thank you, United!), some beer with AMSA pals, and "fuzzy hearts" from old Jewish folks, though not entirely in that order of events.

But in all seriousness, Spring Break was an incredible mash-up of seeing my family, bringing Andrei to KC again, celebrating my 21st birthday (no I don't feel any wiser nor do I drink any more alcohol than I did before I was 21, sadly?), and lying poolside in sunny California in-between medical talks. (Sign me up for the next conference!) And no, I have not yet posted pictures. Just thinking about it gives me a headache.

Sidenote: At the national AMSA conference I did get a chance to meet and chat with Dr. Tao Le and Dr. Goljan, of First Aid and Rapid Review Pathology fame, respectively. Like, seriously, students were GEEKING OUT and asking for autographs and photos with these two docs. It was surreal, and slightly--no, tremendously--pathetic. In just one year, will I also be worshipping USMLE Step 1 review book editors? (!!!!) I shudder to think of it.

Other thoughts: The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga. Just read it and you'll be glad you did. You'll like this if you liked Slumdog Millionaire or any type of tongue-in-cheek social commentary. One spoiler: the first person narrator tells his story entirely in letters addressed to the Chinese Premier, Wen Jiabao. Good, no? It is hilarious and heart-breaking at the same time, and well worth anyone's time. (Also the winner of the 2008 Man Booker Prize, if you like that kind of thing.)

More details on the starred ** items for next time, hopefully soon.

(I have been THIS close to opening a Twitter account because usually my thoughts need to be put down immediately or they get sucked into the black hole of forgetfulness... but I'm still super Twitter-wary and for good reason, so I'm still not convinced.)